What Doesn’t Work: Telling the female trooper she looks good in those pants. She doesn’t. Nobody does. They’ve had the same belly-button-high waistband design since 1988. Don’t mention the hat either, it’s a bit of a sore spot.

What Works: When you get the bad end of a meeting with the police, take immediate notes about as many details as you can remember. Officers usually don’t remember the stuff that wins your case, just the stuff that hurts you.